It's happening. In 5 days, I'll be boarding a plane to come back home. But what feels weird, and slightly sad, is how at home I already feel here.
I was pretty emotional 3 and a half weeks ago when I was leaving for Italy. Ben, Cassie, and Hannah can attest to that, seeing as how they had to witness me spontaneously burst into tears. That was a pretty sight to leave you guys with, wasn't it?
They warn you of culture shock and how you experience euphoria at being in a new setting and then you go through phases that basically land you at feeling homesick. I never left euphoria though. My apartment feels like home. The first morning there, I shut my eyes in the shower, and heard someones voice that sounded just like my lady love, Hannah (we share a bathroom back home, and sometimes we talk when I'm in the shower, but I'm still not a lesbian, professoressa) and I thought I was home. It was weird to open my eyes in a foreign setting, pun intended. But pretty soon, everything felt so easy. I knew what I was seeing when I stepped out onto the street. I have the cafe I go to in the morning, I see my favorite barista, pay 1 euro for my espresso, and take another 5 minutes to walk to school at CAPA. I can stand in any point in the city and navigate my way home. I just look up, find the Duomo, and know where to go. When it's 4 in the morning, and I'm hungry, and I want Whataburger, and shed a couple of tears at the idea of not eating a cheeseburger, I just grab a roommate and walk to the 24/7 kebab shop. Because kebabs are amazing (and different) here and they always taste a little sweeter in the middle of the night.
I love that I'm traveling to the most unique and picturesque places that you would see on a postcard, but I get to see with my own eyes. Real and natural beauty. Buildings that have been here for centuries.
I just feel extremely comfortable here. I don't miss home, as in Texas, quite like I thought. I miss talking to some friends, especially after we FaceTime, but I'd just like it so much better if they came here with me!
I've been thinking about what I'll miss, and I regret not writing things a little more personal down in a journal like all the other artsy students here have done, but here's what I'll miss
Strangely enough, I'll miss the sound of church bells in the morning. I know you try to wake me up at 7, and 7:15, and 7:30... basically all day, but magically I still find a way to sleep till 1 in the afternoon if I need to.
I'm going to miss the sound of a child in my apartment building in the morning. Some mornings, it's squeals of delight and singing "Let It Go". Other mornings, it is the tortured screams of a brat who's parents are not obeying their will. Either way, it's an every morning traditions.
I'm gonna miss the clanking of silverware from the restaurant below my window. And on occasion, an Italian man belting a song of his people. It's so cool.
I'm going to miss the little dog that sits in the courtyard on the ground floor of my apartment. He, like all the other dogs here, are so well behaved. He never makes a break for the door outside and he never growls at me. He just looks at me as I yell "cane!" and proceed upstairs.
I WILL MISS THE COFFEE. I had a sweet interacting with my barista today. She has noticed that my roommate and I have been taking our coffee to go lately, mostly because we've had early mornings at the train stations. But she saw me, new exactly what I wanted, and remembered to ask if I wanted to take it away. I didn't because I wanted to sit down and study for my final, but I appreciated it. She has such a big and sweet smile and she never grimaces at my attempt to speak Italian. Hell, I'm going to miss her, too.
I'm going to miss having a convenience store right around the corner from my place. It's run by an Indian couple, and they give us a student discount, and help point me out to the food I need when I can't understand the labels.
GROM. I will miss you, Grom. Getting a snapchat from a roommate with the question "Grom later?" Of course. Always a yes. A small cone with caffe and chocolate even though they say those flavors are to strong together THAT'S WHAT I WANT BECAUSE ITS AMAZING.
I'll miss this culture. The appreciation for things like the company you're with and the food you're about to eat and the wine you're drinking. A culture of stop and smell the roses. I don't do that enough. But I'm happy I get to experience that here.
I'm going to miss my talks with my roommates. We share something, being here together. In the same boat. Always somehow being on the same wavelength of "Yeah, I'm really hungry" or "Yeah, we should probably get a bottle of wine". Sitting in the kitchen and making our own antipasto before or while we make dinner. Or going to see Daniele, who has the name of a girl but god he is gorgeous and he seems to always know that I need a refill on wine. And complementary bruschetta or limoncello is also always okay with me.
I'll miss CAPA. The staff at CAPA is so sweet, and all of them have a great sense of humor. They were so welcoming and have such great advice for this city. Professor Sara may speed walk like there's limited time left on this world, but damn she has a great teaching style. She does great at teaching about culture and history. These were never subjects I did well in, but she makes it all so effortless. And Professoressa, I will miss you even though you'll be in Texas with me! You are so carefree and fun here, not that you weren't at home, but here you are in your element! I love it. And I don't feel like a tourist with you.
Hahah i'll miss my game of "Spot the American", which isn't hard when they wear shorts that show their butt, like actually their cheeks, and screaming "OH MY GOSH" or saying something like "UMMM do you know where that big building is? Like...the only with the gold thing at the top?" Oh, the Duomo? One of the greatest pieces of architecture in the entire world? One of the symbols of Florence, the city your currently in? Stupid friggin idiots I swear. It's going to be strange to walk outside and not see that massive and beautiful building.
I have 5 days left. As nervous as I was to come here, that's actually how weird and nervous I feel to go home.
Don't worry. I miss my parents, my cat, my friends, cheeseburgers and BBQ and breakfast tacos and actually ANY breakfast food that doesn't look like a dessert! But there is charm and beauty and culture and history here. Back home... there's construction and renovation and the overall stresses of life.
It's just been great immersing myself in something new. I resolve to come back.
Woah, you made it to the bottom of this? I'm impressed.
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